happy thoughts

Looking back on my blogs I realize how crazy and mood-swingy I can be. It sounds like I get mad at Aaron a lot, but really I don't, and we really don't fight a lot either. We joke around and get along really well. I do get frustrated, but I am sure I frustrate him too, its normal! I just hope it doesn't sound like we are having issues or anything bad like that, because we are really happy. Right now it just sucks that he can't be here with us. But that all changes on Thursday, because he will be here for 4 days! yay!!!!

SO, lots to say, but I must be brief otherwise this post will never be finished. Today I went to the psychiatrist, the same one I used to go to way back when, to talk about the way I have been feeling. We researched the different options, something I have done myself extensively on my own, and came up wit a plan: celexa 20mg QD & ativan 1mg prn; my next appt is in a month. I would have preferred using a different SSRI, but he said since this worked for me in the past, why not use it? He wanted to prescribe me xanex, but I explained why ativan would be better in my situation, with breast feeding and all, and he agreed. I am confident it should work. I told Aaron about it and I think he too is comfortable with it. The doc said it could very well end up just being a temporary thing that I need to be on the meds, and I agree.

Sunday was Kendall and Brandon's pool bbq. It was fun! I brought the babes, of course, and Dylan and Colleen. Kendall is less than a month from her due date and she looks absolutely gorgeous! I think pregnancy really looks good on some people, myself included (LOL), and yeah. We had a good time. Layla had a breakdown when we were leaving, but other than that it went well.

Today was my first RUN with the jogging stroller pushing Kelly and Layla. Whoa what a workout! I thought I would take walking breaks equal with however long I could run, but instead after I warmed up for 3 mins, I just ran the rest. Total running, HILLS and all, was 36 mins, so probably at least 3 miles. It really works your entire body, total legs, butt, Abs, arms, shoulders, back, etc. I love it! I have definitely noticed improvement in my strength from the past few weeks of working out. Again, I love it! haha.

Also in other news, I think I might have lost a pound or two? Or at least have shrunk, or like gotten more toned up, so lost fat, but gained muscle, but probably weigh the same. IDK because I won't weigh myself. I am worried my milk supply might be dropping :-/ SIGH! its a constant battle. Normally I pump off like 4-6oz during the night, but last night I only got 2? Granted normally Layla wakes up briefly for a snack, and so there is a lot leftover, but last night she took full feedings every time she woke up, or rather every time Kelly woke her up...I hope to keep it up, even after she starts sleeping through the night, because I want to have a lot frozen for when she starts eating cereal and stuff. With Kelly I thought I had plently, but within 6 weeks it was pretty much all used up and at that point I was only making enough milk to feed Kelly and none extra--I was running too much for sure. This is another reason Aaron needs to get orders for us to move here, because of all the frozen breast milk!! Either that or I will have to fedex it in dry ice, and I bet that is expensive! We will see.

Today he asked me my top 3 places for where I would want to live. He has to give the list to the army before Robin Sage. I said 1)Colorado, 2) Germany, 3) Fayetteville....the other options including Kentucky (YUK!) and possibly FL, and I think Washington state. In reality, I was thinking more about it and I think Fayetteville might actually be my #2, because if we end up in Germany, Aaron will be gone a lot, he already told me that. And plus its like 18 hour plane ride from all my family! Wah! I am so afraid that just by him putting that on his list they will give it too him. I hope that because he is the #1 in his class they will give him his first choice (and because it would be the best for his family, especially his Wife, and therefore his little girls!)...oh man, we still don't find out til August...God, to think we have been waiting for over 2 1/2 years, it will have been just under 3 years since the start of this whole thing, geez. I am going to keep on praying for the Rockie Mountains!

Alright, Layla is asleep, Kelly, my sickies baby, has been asleep. I really hope she doesn't wake up again in the middle of the night with her barky-wet-productive cough, poor thing. I was going to take her to the doc, called for an appt, they gave me a referral to Urgent care, bc there were no pediatric same day appointments available, but after I dosed her with medicine she seemed pretty good. Then after her nap she spiked a fever, 102.0, I gave her more motrin, and she was back to normal in like 20 mins, so we never ended up going to urgent care. I think she will be alright. I hope so.

Tomorrow: Getting my Mirena in the morning, Kelly's speech evaluation in the afternoon (I'm gonna miss OLTL again, :( ), then my physical therapy appt for my pubic bone at 4pm. Ugh, its gonna be a long day! OK, sleep time! And I am in a good mood, and Nope, have not taken any meds.