Things have been good this week. Granted, I get frustrated still, but no meltdowns, and I am not drinking myself into a stupor either! yay! LOL. Even with Aaron going to Boston today, instead of here, for the 4th of July weekend, I am no insanely jealous about it. I wish we could come, but that would be too much stress that I don't want to deal with right now. I also wish I could go shopping, Aaron wants me to pick out some nice, spiffy new sandals from REI, but even that is like, eh, I think I will just stay home, or just walk to the park instead. I also have 3 gift cards, 2 to American Eagle, 1 to bed bath and beyond, and Aaron has another from Banana Republic for me, and the thought of taking the babes shopping is like, omg, no way! haha...eventually, when I decide my clothes are old enough and must be given to Goodwill, then I will go. Or maybe when Colleen is feeling better, she will go with me to help me out...either way, I am not worried about it.
Oh yeah, and my back is all jacked up again. I went to the Acute Care clinic, bc I couldn't get in with my primary care doctor, who I have yet to meet, and the NP couldn't do much more me, other than give me 3 boxes of Lidoderm patches & "muscle relaxers", neither of which work. The muscle relaxers are a real joke! She apparently didn't feel comfortable prescribing me a flexeril or valium, both of which would actually work, but since I am nursing she was more hesitant...I knew I should have brought my drug book for pregnant and lactating women, because then she could have read actual detailed information about it and she would have realized that both are considered safe to use during lactation. At PT this week they gave me a TENS unit, and when I combine everything, it almost works. The good part is, my hips are in great alignment, the bad part is my body has been so used to be out of whack that now that its aligned it hurts even more than before! I just have to strengthen the areas that are used to working correctly and I am sure it will be fine, just takes time.
Tandem naps are great! Both babies still sleeping :) Oh and workouts have been good too! I got down to 120.5, without trying, and after binging all weekend on garbage food like donuts and ice cream, lol, so not sure how that happened, but either way, I have been trying to gain back a couple pounds, because I am paranoid about my milk supply. So far, nothing to worry about, I probably have at least 2 gallons frozen in the deep freezer any ways. Some days are just realllly hard and I fantasize about not breast feeding anymore and just doing bottles. I know that sounds awful, but, Layla can be so finicky! ::Sigh:: I will be happy to make it to 6 months at this rate. She always does great at night, like after we have gone to bed, but then during the days she will nurse on one side, then completely reject the second boob, leaving me frustrated and lop-sided. So I pump, but I am too busy most of the time to completely pump it, and so it leaves some milk, and by the time she eats again that side is really full! ha! and then it happens again with the other side. Its getting really annoying, and she just started doing this a few days ago, so I suppose she can just as easily stop doing that too.
OK, the Morman missionaries are here, in the basement, helping my mom clean it, and the Layla Bug is waking up.
xoxo
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
cloth diapering, physical therapy, speech therapy
So, lets catch up on a few things..
C/L/O/T/H D/I/A/P/E/R/S
I honestly think people are lying when they call themselves "cloth diapering addicts." Give me a break, you are addicting to smelling ammonia, flicking poop into the toilet, and washing laundry, sometimes washing the same load up to 3 times? I don't think so! Ha! BUT, I will say, I am getting the hang of it, sorta. We can get through an entire day without an accident, but then I am also changing Kelly's diaper as often, or more, then little Layla-bug...so, then creating a load of laundry. If I can get them in the wash the same day she wears them, then I don't smell the ammonia and only pre-wash it, then wash it once. I don't follow the instructions that say to wash them in COLD water. I have tried that, it takes 3 or more times to get them clean, so forget that,I use at least WARM water and if they last, they last, if they don't then I stop cloth diapering. I still put her in disposable diapers if we are going to be out for a few hours, or when I put her to bed, because I don't want to have to deal with accidents, and that seems to work. I don't understand how they could possibly save anyone money though, personally, I think my time is worth a lot, thanks.
/P/H/Y/S/I/C/A/L/ /T/H/E/R/A/P/Y/
I've been going twice a week now for the past 2 weeks, so far I really like it. Unfortunately it is really hard for me to get all my exercises in that I am supposed to be doing, but I get it done for the most part (I should be doing it right now since the babies are asleep...). My Therapist, Maggie, is really awesome, she has 2 daughters that are also about 23 months apart, but they are 4 & 6 now, and she assures me that it does get easier. We run through a series that she uses to re-align my hips and help even out my legs. Then she also does this thing to try to turn my hips, or rather my illiac crests in the correct direction to take pressure off my symphysis pubis. Lastly, she does the soft tissue massage of the front, so right on my hip bones pretty much, then the back, which is basically my bum. I have S-I (sacral illiac) issues, left sacral torsion, hips are constantly out of alignment, and symphysis pubis separation. I think we are already making some progress. My home exercises include the following: (all of them are done twice a day)
/S/P/E/E/C/H/ /T/H/E/R/A/P/Y/
Kelly had her follow up to her initial evaluation last week. No surprise, she has an expressive speech delay, but not as bad as I thought. She is rated as being 1 year 8 months, and is lagging just a little on pragmatic skills (i.e. playing with others, sharing, manners [she generally always signs "please" and "thank you", in her own way). So, she will receive therapy once a week for 30 mins, for the next year. Again, I really hope we just move here, so we don't have to go through all this bullshit again. I have been trying to get her back into speech therapy for the entire time we have been here! That's 7 weeks! We will be here 6 more weeks, and hopefully just moving back, but geez, it takes forever to get anything done. I wish the therapists made home visits, like the one in Fayetteville. Before, Kelly just got it while at daycare, from the same therapist, every Wednesday, at the same time. Now however, it will be from probably not the same therapist each week, and a different day & time from week to week---really annoying.
So, between me working out when I can (almost everyday), going to PT, taking Kelly to ST, taking the girls to the park when I can, going to Toddler Time at the library on Thursdays, we are really busy! I can honestly say I don't watch as much TV as I once did just a short time ago. I really wish I had my own car to drive here. Its really a pain trying to coordinate with my mom or sister for a vehicle. I wish Aaron would let me put money towards a down payment for a car, since getting my old Honda which is still sitting in the driveway fixed is not an option. I want to trade the car in, and put some money towards a car to help my mom out, because then she wouldn't have to buy my brother Ryan a car, and then she could put the rest of the money down, but he doesn't want to do that. I don't think he understands how inconvenient it really is, but oh well, whatever.
I don't mean to count down the last 6 weeks, because I know it means we are leaving Colorado and unless we move here, who knows when we will be able to come back, with 2 babies and all, that adds an extra ticket we'd have to buy, not to mention the hassle. But, I already miss Aaron and miss our little life we have in our own house together, even though its in a shit-hole. Plus I really want to see him graduate. God, I pray we move here and not to Germany or anywhere else.
Ok, gotta get Layla upstairs, feed her, then put us to bed :-)
C/L/O/T/H D/I/A/P/E/R/S
I honestly think people are lying when they call themselves "cloth diapering addicts." Give me a break, you are addicting to smelling ammonia, flicking poop into the toilet, and washing laundry, sometimes washing the same load up to 3 times? I don't think so! Ha! BUT, I will say, I am getting the hang of it, sorta. We can get through an entire day without an accident, but then I am also changing Kelly's diaper as often, or more, then little Layla-bug...so, then creating a load of laundry. If I can get them in the wash the same day she wears them, then I don't smell the ammonia and only pre-wash it, then wash it once. I don't follow the instructions that say to wash them in COLD water. I have tried that, it takes 3 or more times to get them clean, so forget that,I use at least WARM water and if they last, they last, if they don't then I stop cloth diapering. I still put her in disposable diapers if we are going to be out for a few hours, or when I put her to bed, because I don't want to have to deal with accidents, and that seems to work. I don't understand how they could possibly save anyone money though, personally, I think my time is worth a lot, thanks.
/P/H/Y/S/I/C/A/L/ /T/H/E/R/A/P/Y/
I've been going twice a week now for the past 2 weeks, so far I really like it. Unfortunately it is really hard for me to get all my exercises in that I am supposed to be doing, but I get it done for the most part (I should be doing it right now since the babies are asleep...). My Therapist, Maggie, is really awesome, she has 2 daughters that are also about 23 months apart, but they are 4 & 6 now, and she assures me that it does get easier. We run through a series that she uses to re-align my hips and help even out my legs. Then she also does this thing to try to turn my hips, or rather my illiac crests in the correct direction to take pressure off my symphysis pubis. Lastly, she does the soft tissue massage of the front, so right on my hip bones pretty much, then the back, which is basically my bum. I have S-I (sacral illiac) issues, left sacral torsion, hips are constantly out of alignment, and symphysis pubis separation. I think we are already making some progress. My home exercises include the following: (all of them are done twice a day)
- 10 pelvic tilts into bridge, holding for 10 seconds each
- piriphormus strech, holding for 45-60 seconds, x2
- hip-flexor stretch, using dining room table, holding 45-60 seconds, x2
- 30 abductions using green band
- 30 adductions with 2 fists between my thighs
- adducting with fist between thighs everytime I sit or stand up (this one I always forget)
- massage of bum when at the gym with the foam roller
/S/P/E/E/C/H/ /T/H/E/R/A/P/Y/
Kelly had her follow up to her initial evaluation last week. No surprise, she has an expressive speech delay, but not as bad as I thought. She is rated as being 1 year 8 months, and is lagging just a little on pragmatic skills (i.e. playing with others, sharing, manners [she generally always signs "please" and "thank you", in her own way). So, she will receive therapy once a week for 30 mins, for the next year. Again, I really hope we just move here, so we don't have to go through all this bullshit again. I have been trying to get her back into speech therapy for the entire time we have been here! That's 7 weeks! We will be here 6 more weeks, and hopefully just moving back, but geez, it takes forever to get anything done. I wish the therapists made home visits, like the one in Fayetteville. Before, Kelly just got it while at daycare, from the same therapist, every Wednesday, at the same time. Now however, it will be from probably not the same therapist each week, and a different day & time from week to week---really annoying.
So, between me working out when I can (almost everyday), going to PT, taking Kelly to ST, taking the girls to the park when I can, going to Toddler Time at the library on Thursdays, we are really busy! I can honestly say I don't watch as much TV as I once did just a short time ago. I really wish I had my own car to drive here. Its really a pain trying to coordinate with my mom or sister for a vehicle. I wish Aaron would let me put money towards a down payment for a car, since getting my old Honda which is still sitting in the driveway fixed is not an option. I want to trade the car in, and put some money towards a car to help my mom out, because then she wouldn't have to buy my brother Ryan a car, and then she could put the rest of the money down, but he doesn't want to do that. I don't think he understands how inconvenient it really is, but oh well, whatever.
I don't mean to count down the last 6 weeks, because I know it means we are leaving Colorado and unless we move here, who knows when we will be able to come back, with 2 babies and all, that adds an extra ticket we'd have to buy, not to mention the hassle. But, I already miss Aaron and miss our little life we have in our own house together, even though its in a shit-hole. Plus I really want to see him graduate. God, I pray we move here and not to Germany or anywhere else.
Ok, gotta get Layla upstairs, feed her, then put us to bed :-)
Monday, June 20, 2011
Father's day Weekend
Our weekend really started Thursday night when my Hubby, the girls' daddy, got here. He arrived around midnight, ate a bagel sandwich that I had made him, and we hung out for a little while, before cuddling and of course making out, then sleeps. Luckily the girls slept-in in the morning, aside from Layla, who awoke at her usual 3-5 hour intervals. Unfortunately Kelly only slept in because she was sickies. She had been sick all week, and I took her to the doctor finally on Thursday, who determined that it was just a virus, he suggested 1/2-1tsp honey QID, and Motrin/Tylenol for fever. I tried the honey one time, it didn't do much, so I just stuck with treating her fever.
Friday I had PT, so Aaron and the girls came along and he took them on a walk and to the playground next to the complex where my PT is, while I was in the appointment. It was a really good appointment. We did a lot of stretching/strengthening exercises, followed by a soft tissue massage, which to me felt more like a deep tissue massage. By the evening I felt really sore. We also ran errands, going to like 3 running store, REI, and some other randomness. We ate at Aribica Cafe, delish! We stayed in for the night because I had my race the next day, so we called it an early night.
Saturday was the Salin' Shoes 10k. My brother ran the 5k, I of course did the 10k. I ran a 48:25, not my best but certainly better than I thought I would have ran. I was very pleased. Aaron had Layla in the stroller, while Colleen stayed home with Kelly. She was up most of the night, and actually so was Layla, it was pretty exhausting, luckily Aaron stayed up with Layla after I couldn't take it anymore around midnight or so. I fed Layla shortly before we left for the race, and she slept for the whole thing and then for the next 2 hours or so, so it was nice that she didn't have to have a bottle, though, I do want her to keep her bottle drinking skills going too.
Saturday Night was SUSHI dinner! We went with my mom and Eddie, and it was amazing! We had 7 rolls, miso soup (my fave!), and salads. Aaron and I also had Sapparo, Japanese beer. When we got home we got the girls ready for bed, I fed Layla one last time, then we had some more drinks, champagne cocktails to be exact, and cuddled talking. It was a great night.
Sunday was Father's Day. I did not call my father. I haven't spoken with him in over a year and a half. He stopped returning my calls and never made any effort to see or hear about his granddaughter (before Layla was born), so I said fuck it, I am not going to care anymore, his loss. So, I celebrate Eddie, usually, and of course Aaron.
So, the babies woke up late again, Kelly was still sick, and Aaron got up early and went to Church. He goes to a non-denominational church called New Life, and I really don't care for it. Its gigantic, doesn't have pews, no statues or crosses, and is just too big-business to me. I am Catholic, so I prefer Catholic Church. In Fayetteville, we go to a similar church called Rockfish, but that one I do go with him too because I know he likes it, and they have a nursery Kelly can play in, and I can just sort of zone out while I am there. Sometimes I do listen, and always I am praying, but, I guess I have a short attention span and can't follow the pastor when they go on and on for like 30-40 mins. During Catholic mass there is the First Reading, the Second Reading, the Gospel, and the Homily. Each are rather short and to the point. Of course there are other things, like singing, and prayers, and such, but it moves along, and is generically the same, which I prefer.
Any ways, we just kind of hung out, I went running, and we took the babies to the park. Then Aaron went to the Y to lift. We had given the best father in the world, his present yesterday, a homemade, framed 11X14 poster of cut out pictures of the girls, and their foot prints and Kelly's hand print (Layla's was on the back).
He loved it! And little Layla rolled over for the first time from back to belly, then belly to back again. It was amazing! I thought Kelly rolled early (day before turning 3 months), but it happened, in front of me, Daddy, granny, and auntie colleen. I was freaking out about it, in a good way of course. She hasn't done it again today yet, but I am sure its only a matter of time before its just all the time.
For dinner we went to Back East with the girls, and Kendall and Brandon met us there, oh and my mom and Dylan were also there. It was a good dinner. The night was mellow, the babies went to sleep, and we cuddled and talked about the future, and where we might live. I wanted to cry, but didn't.
Monday, today, Aaron left to go back to NC. Before he left he bought a return ticket from Boston to Raleigh, NC, so I guess that's where he is going for the 4th of July, bums me out, I really wish he would come back here, but I understand, I guess. It does cost like twice as much...but we won't see him for 6 weeks, the last 4 of which we will have no contact with him. sigh
In other news, I have been running pretty much daily, and going to the Y a few days a week for uninterrupted workout time. Today I did pilates-yoga fushion class and squats with the bar (weighs like 25 or more pounds) and an added 10lbs, my run was 5.40 miles on the treadmill because it was SOo windy. Oh and I DID NOT get the Mirena birth control IUD. The night before my appointment I read online all these horror stories about women that lost their hair, gained weight, ggot and stayed bloated and had terrible mood swings. All things I would not be able to deal with, especially given my state of mind at the time. SO it was a no-go. I guess I will just start the mini-pill in August, before I go back to NC, and pray I am not already pregnant now, I highly doubt I am, but you never know.
OK, its about bedtime for mommy now. Layla has been sleeping well, usually in her swing, but she also falls asleep anywhere, including the floor, while she is playing with her baby gym, lol! She is silly! and getting cuter everyday :) She does not seem to be the cranky baby she once was, and Praise the Lord she loves her swing finally! Ok, now its bedtime.
Friday I had PT, so Aaron and the girls came along and he took them on a walk and to the playground next to the complex where my PT is, while I was in the appointment. It was a really good appointment. We did a lot of stretching/strengthening exercises, followed by a soft tissue massage, which to me felt more like a deep tissue massage. By the evening I felt really sore. We also ran errands, going to like 3 running store, REI, and some other randomness. We ate at Aribica Cafe, delish! We stayed in for the night because I had my race the next day, so we called it an early night.
Saturday was the Salin' Shoes 10k. My brother ran the 5k, I of course did the 10k. I ran a 48:25, not my best but certainly better than I thought I would have ran. I was very pleased. Aaron had Layla in the stroller, while Colleen stayed home with Kelly. She was up most of the night, and actually so was Layla, it was pretty exhausting, luckily Aaron stayed up with Layla after I couldn't take it anymore around midnight or so. I fed Layla shortly before we left for the race, and she slept for the whole thing and then for the next 2 hours or so, so it was nice that she didn't have to have a bottle, though, I do want her to keep her bottle drinking skills going too.
Saturday Night was SUSHI dinner! We went with my mom and Eddie, and it was amazing! We had 7 rolls, miso soup (my fave!), and salads. Aaron and I also had Sapparo, Japanese beer. When we got home we got the girls ready for bed, I fed Layla one last time, then we had some more drinks, champagne cocktails to be exact, and cuddled talking. It was a great night.
Sunday was Father's Day. I did not call my father. I haven't spoken with him in over a year and a half. He stopped returning my calls and never made any effort to see or hear about his granddaughter (before Layla was born), so I said fuck it, I am not going to care anymore, his loss. So, I celebrate Eddie, usually, and of course Aaron.
So, the babies woke up late again, Kelly was still sick, and Aaron got up early and went to Church. He goes to a non-denominational church called New Life, and I really don't care for it. Its gigantic, doesn't have pews, no statues or crosses, and is just too big-business to me. I am Catholic, so I prefer Catholic Church. In Fayetteville, we go to a similar church called Rockfish, but that one I do go with him too because I know he likes it, and they have a nursery Kelly can play in, and I can just sort of zone out while I am there. Sometimes I do listen, and always I am praying, but, I guess I have a short attention span and can't follow the pastor when they go on and on for like 30-40 mins. During Catholic mass there is the First Reading, the Second Reading, the Gospel, and the Homily. Each are rather short and to the point. Of course there are other things, like singing, and prayers, and such, but it moves along, and is generically the same, which I prefer.
Any ways, we just kind of hung out, I went running, and we took the babies to the park. Then Aaron went to the Y to lift. We had given the best father in the world, his present yesterday, a homemade, framed 11X14 poster of cut out pictures of the girls, and their foot prints and Kelly's hand print (Layla's was on the back).
He loved it! And little Layla rolled over for the first time from back to belly, then belly to back again. It was amazing! I thought Kelly rolled early (day before turning 3 months), but it happened, in front of me, Daddy, granny, and auntie colleen. I was freaking out about it, in a good way of course. She hasn't done it again today yet, but I am sure its only a matter of time before its just all the time.
For dinner we went to Back East with the girls, and Kendall and Brandon met us there, oh and my mom and Dylan were also there. It was a good dinner. The night was mellow, the babies went to sleep, and we cuddled and talked about the future, and where we might live. I wanted to cry, but didn't.
Monday, today, Aaron left to go back to NC. Before he left he bought a return ticket from Boston to Raleigh, NC, so I guess that's where he is going for the 4th of July, bums me out, I really wish he would come back here, but I understand, I guess. It does cost like twice as much...but we won't see him for 6 weeks, the last 4 of which we will have no contact with him. sigh
In other news, I have been running pretty much daily, and going to the Y a few days a week for uninterrupted workout time. Today I did pilates-yoga fushion class and squats with the bar (weighs like 25 or more pounds) and an added 10lbs, my run was 5.40 miles on the treadmill because it was SOo windy. Oh and I DID NOT get the Mirena birth control IUD. The night before my appointment I read online all these horror stories about women that lost their hair, gained weight, ggot and stayed bloated and had terrible mood swings. All things I would not be able to deal with, especially given my state of mind at the time. SO it was a no-go. I guess I will just start the mini-pill in August, before I go back to NC, and pray I am not already pregnant now, I highly doubt I am, but you never know.
OK, its about bedtime for mommy now. Layla has been sleeping well, usually in her swing, but she also falls asleep anywhere, including the floor, while she is playing with her baby gym, lol! She is silly! and getting cuter everyday :) She does not seem to be the cranky baby she once was, and Praise the Lord she loves her swing finally! Ok, now its bedtime.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Layla's 2 month stats
9lbs 6oz weight
21.65in long
Skills: social smiles! lots of cooing conversations, small almost giggles, lifts and turns head from side to side, holds head up most of the time, raises arms and tries to swat at her hanging "friends" in her baby gym, and her mobile on the swing.
Clothes: 0-3 months
Diet: 100% breastfed, eats every 2-3 hours during the days, sleeps 3-6 hours straight at night.
Sleeps: usually 1.5-2 hours in morning, stays awake up to 2 hours, and another 1-2 nap, plus many random 20-40 min naps the rest of the evening, till pretty much going to bed at 9pm
Mood: Usually really happy, gets cranky right before falling asleep, but the majority of the terrible make-you-wanna-pull-your-hair-out cranky baby is over and she will fuss for a little bit, then fall right to sleep
Loves: cuddling!
I can't remember the head circumference off the top of my head...I will update more later, I just had to put this in here now.
happy thoughts
Looking back on my blogs I realize how crazy and mood-swingy I can be. It sounds like I get mad at Aaron a lot, but really I don't, and we really don't fight a lot either. We joke around and get along really well. I do get frustrated, but I am sure I frustrate him too, its normal! I just hope it doesn't sound like we are having issues or anything bad like that, because we are really happy. Right now it just sucks that he can't be here with us. But that all changes on Thursday, because he will be here for 4 days! yay!!!!
SO, lots to say, but I must be brief otherwise this post will never be finished. Today I went to the psychiatrist, the same one I used to go to way back when, to talk about the way I have been feeling. We researched the different options, something I have done myself extensively on my own, and came up wit a plan: celexa 20mg QD & ativan 1mg prn; my next appt is in a month. I would have preferred using a different SSRI, but he said since this worked for me in the past, why not use it? He wanted to prescribe me xanex, but I explained why ativan would be better in my situation, with breast feeding and all, and he agreed. I am confident it should work. I told Aaron about it and I think he too is comfortable with it. The doc said it could very well end up just being a temporary thing that I need to be on the meds, and I agree.
Sunday was Kendall and Brandon's pool bbq. It was fun! I brought the babes, of course, and Dylan and Colleen. Kendall is less than a month from her due date and she looks absolutely gorgeous! I think pregnancy really looks good on some people, myself included (LOL), and yeah. We had a good time. Layla had a breakdown when we were leaving, but other than that it went well.
Today was my first RUN with the jogging stroller pushing Kelly and Layla. Whoa what a workout! I thought I would take walking breaks equal with however long I could run, but instead after I warmed up for 3 mins, I just ran the rest. Total running, HILLS and all, was 36 mins, so probably at least 3 miles. It really works your entire body, total legs, butt, Abs, arms, shoulders, back, etc. I love it! I have definitely noticed improvement in my strength from the past few weeks of working out. Again, I love it! haha.
Also in other news, I think I might have lost a pound or two? Or at least have shrunk, or like gotten more toned up, so lost fat, but gained muscle, but probably weigh the same. IDK because I won't weigh myself. I am worried my milk supply might be dropping :-/ SIGH! its a constant battle. Normally I pump off like 4-6oz during the night, but last night I only got 2? Granted normally Layla wakes up briefly for a snack, and so there is a lot leftover, but last night she took full feedings every time she woke up, or rather every time Kelly woke her up...I hope to keep it up, even after she starts sleeping through the night, because I want to have a lot frozen for when she starts eating cereal and stuff. With Kelly I thought I had plently, but within 6 weeks it was pretty much all used up and at that point I was only making enough milk to feed Kelly and none extra--I was running too much for sure. This is another reason Aaron needs to get orders for us to move here, because of all the frozen breast milk!! Either that or I will have to fedex it in dry ice, and I bet that is expensive! We will see.
Today he asked me my top 3 places for where I would want to live. He has to give the list to the army before Robin Sage. I said 1)Colorado, 2) Germany, 3) Fayetteville....the other options including Kentucky (YUK!) and possibly FL, and I think Washington state. In reality, I was thinking more about it and I think Fayetteville might actually be my #2, because if we end up in Germany, Aaron will be gone a lot, he already told me that. And plus its like 18 hour plane ride from all my family! Wah! I am so afraid that just by him putting that on his list they will give it too him. I hope that because he is the #1 in his class they will give him his first choice (and because it would be the best for his family, especially his Wife, and therefore his little girls!)...oh man, we still don't find out til August...God, to think we have been waiting for over 2 1/2 years, it will have been just under 3 years since the start of this whole thing, geez. I am going to keep on praying for the Rockie Mountains!
Alright, Layla is asleep, Kelly, my sickies baby, has been asleep. I really hope she doesn't wake up again in the middle of the night with her barky-wet-productive cough, poor thing. I was going to take her to the doc, called for an appt, they gave me a referral to Urgent care, bc there were no pediatric same day appointments available, but after I dosed her with medicine she seemed pretty good. Then after her nap she spiked a fever, 102.0, I gave her more motrin, and she was back to normal in like 20 mins, so we never ended up going to urgent care. I think she will be alright. I hope so.
Tomorrow: Getting my Mirena in the morning, Kelly's speech evaluation in the afternoon (I'm gonna miss OLTL again, :( ), then my physical therapy appt for my pubic bone at 4pm. Ugh, its gonna be a long day! OK, sleep time! And I am in a good mood, and Nope, have not taken any meds.
SO, lots to say, but I must be brief otherwise this post will never be finished. Today I went to the psychiatrist, the same one I used to go to way back when, to talk about the way I have been feeling. We researched the different options, something I have done myself extensively on my own, and came up wit a plan: celexa 20mg QD & ativan 1mg prn; my next appt is in a month. I would have preferred using a different SSRI, but he said since this worked for me in the past, why not use it? He wanted to prescribe me xanex, but I explained why ativan would be better in my situation, with breast feeding and all, and he agreed. I am confident it should work. I told Aaron about it and I think he too is comfortable with it. The doc said it could very well end up just being a temporary thing that I need to be on the meds, and I agree.
Sunday was Kendall and Brandon's pool bbq. It was fun! I brought the babes, of course, and Dylan and Colleen. Kendall is less than a month from her due date and she looks absolutely gorgeous! I think pregnancy really looks good on some people, myself included (LOL), and yeah. We had a good time. Layla had a breakdown when we were leaving, but other than that it went well.
Today was my first RUN with the jogging stroller pushing Kelly and Layla. Whoa what a workout! I thought I would take walking breaks equal with however long I could run, but instead after I warmed up for 3 mins, I just ran the rest. Total running, HILLS and all, was 36 mins, so probably at least 3 miles. It really works your entire body, total legs, butt, Abs, arms, shoulders, back, etc. I love it! I have definitely noticed improvement in my strength from the past few weeks of working out. Again, I love it! haha.
Also in other news, I think I might have lost a pound or two? Or at least have shrunk, or like gotten more toned up, so lost fat, but gained muscle, but probably weigh the same. IDK because I won't weigh myself. I am worried my milk supply might be dropping :-/ SIGH! its a constant battle. Normally I pump off like 4-6oz during the night, but last night I only got 2? Granted normally Layla wakes up briefly for a snack, and so there is a lot leftover, but last night she took full feedings every time she woke up, or rather every time Kelly woke her up...I hope to keep it up, even after she starts sleeping through the night, because I want to have a lot frozen for when she starts eating cereal and stuff. With Kelly I thought I had plently, but within 6 weeks it was pretty much all used up and at that point I was only making enough milk to feed Kelly and none extra--I was running too much for sure. This is another reason Aaron needs to get orders for us to move here, because of all the frozen breast milk!! Either that or I will have to fedex it in dry ice, and I bet that is expensive! We will see.
Today he asked me my top 3 places for where I would want to live. He has to give the list to the army before Robin Sage. I said 1)Colorado, 2) Germany, 3) Fayetteville....the other options including Kentucky (YUK!) and possibly FL, and I think Washington state. In reality, I was thinking more about it and I think Fayetteville might actually be my #2, because if we end up in Germany, Aaron will be gone a lot, he already told me that. And plus its like 18 hour plane ride from all my family! Wah! I am so afraid that just by him putting that on his list they will give it too him. I hope that because he is the #1 in his class they will give him his first choice (and because it would be the best for his family, especially his Wife, and therefore his little girls!)...oh man, we still don't find out til August...God, to think we have been waiting for over 2 1/2 years, it will have been just under 3 years since the start of this whole thing, geez. I am going to keep on praying for the Rockie Mountains!
Alright, Layla is asleep, Kelly, my sickies baby, has been asleep. I really hope she doesn't wake up again in the middle of the night with her barky-wet-productive cough, poor thing. I was going to take her to the doc, called for an appt, they gave me a referral to Urgent care, bc there were no pediatric same day appointments available, but after I dosed her with medicine she seemed pretty good. Then after her nap she spiked a fever, 102.0, I gave her more motrin, and she was back to normal in like 20 mins, so we never ended up going to urgent care. I think she will be alright. I hope so.
Tomorrow: Getting my Mirena in the morning, Kelly's speech evaluation in the afternoon (I'm gonna miss OLTL again, :( ), then my physical therapy appt for my pubic bone at 4pm. Ugh, its gonna be a long day! OK, sleep time! And I am in a good mood, and Nope, have not taken any meds.
Friday, June 10, 2011
5 year anniversery and other
Wednesday was my post partum appointment. I am assuming everything "looked" and "felt" fine because the GYN didn't say anything? I know better and should have asked, but I was quite frazzled while I was there, as I usually am, anywhere I am. Lately I have been extremely anxious, and when I am I have like flight of ideas and can't think straight. I filled out a questionnaire about PPD and the results showed that while I don't have post partum depression, I do have anxiety-DUH! ha! So, the doc prescribed some meds for me to try. I took them last night and tonight, and they seem to work I guess...to bad xanex works a lot better :(
I also talked with the doc about birth control, because I was going to start the mini pill, but had second thoughts about it. I really feel like I don't want to have any more children, and while I will miss being pregnant, I will not miss the tears and meltdowns I have been having. So, I have tried to talk with Aaron about him getting a vasectomy, because even he admits that its much less invasive for him to do that, than for me to have a tubal. But he does not think that is necessary. However, I know I don't want to have to take a pill everyday or resort to using condoms, because lets face it, we have never used them before. SO, next Wednesday I am getting the Mirena. It lasts 5 years and by then perhaps Aaron will have the vasectomy or I will get another one. The Mirena only has progesterone in it, just like the minipill, but much less hormone that doesn't get systemic because its only released in the uterus. Hopefully this won't thwart my weight loss efforts, because that would be annoying if after I am done nursing I can't loose these last 5 pounds, but whatever, I really do not need to have another baby, so that's a sacrifice I will have to make.
So yeah, meltdowns. I had a major meltdown last night and the night before. Two nights ago it was bad though. Aaron just left on Monday, and since then I have been anxious beyond belief. I don't get it. I believe in myself and believe I am a strong person, but for some reason I get so ridiculous when he is away. Clearly I have invested way to much into one person, no? Because shouldn't I be able to cope without him? What the hell am I going to do when he is deployed for 6-10 months?!?!?! I've have a nervous breakdown! Right now I mean, I am at my mom's house, I have my mom here, one of my sisters, and 2 of my brothers, and I still have breakdowns? wtf. Sigh. So last night, Layla went to sleep, finally, then I went to bed, and then Kelly wakes up at 1:30AM and doesn't go back to sleep until nearly 5AM!!! Keeping me up with her! It was beyond awful. I was so frustrated with her after having cuddled with her for hours, I yelled at her and then eventually gave up and put her in the pack'n'play (she normally sleeps in a regular twin bed) and then fell asleep for a few more hours until finally getting up at 9AM. And of course Layla woke up every 2 1/2 to 3 hours too, but she ate then went right back to sleep. Sometimes I just want to run away and scream and never look back. Last night could have been a good night, but no, I can never have a good night.
I freaking hate this feeling.
Today is the day I met my husband, 5 years ago. What a love story we have. And tonight he is in Charlotte with his SINGLE friend Joe, at a BAR. :( I really hate when he goes to the bar with his friends. He didn't even tell me until I called him because I realized it was like 11pm his time and I hadn't heard from him for hours. Oh and they took a cab there, so you know they both will be drinking a bit. So he does this after getting pulled over while driving there yesterday for driving over 22 mph OVER the speed limit!? And he gets on my case for spending about $100 on cloth diapers? Give me a freaking break. And have I even had my eyebrows waxed in months or a pedicure? Of course not. Well, that's about to change. Now I am getting myself worked up, and I really shouldn't because I am in no state of mind to be able to filter what I say when I talk to him later. shit.
The things that frustrate me:
-Being away from Aaron
-Kelly's inability to communicate through speech...thank god speech therapy starts again on Wednesday
-my pubic bone pain, thank god I start physical therapy on Wednesday also
-the weekend
-fussy babies
-Kelly waking up during the night
-Me having my "mommy's time-out"
-retaining water
-weighing 123lbs
Maybe I am depressed? There are a few things that point in that direction. I watch so much damn TV, its pathetic. I am still working out though, so that's good. So far this week I have ran like 20 miles and lifted (squats, arms and abs) But then the drink or two I have at night kind of cancels that out too. ::sigh:: That's why I hate the weekend, because there is never anything to watch. I tune out. its how my mom deals with her anxiety and shite, and apparently I am realizing its how I do the same. shit. That's probably why my 2 year old doesn't talk, because I watch to much TV? is that possible? I used to be so good, playing with her allll the time, reading to her, all that stuff. But, she is not into it at all anymore?! I feel like I try with her, but she doesn't seem to have any interest in listening to me or repeating the words I say and the sounds. Its reallllly frustrating. She understands everything I say to her, but she doesn't always talk back. She says S-words, and SH-words really well, but cannot pronounce B-sounds. So, when she says "Bye" she ends up saying "Dye!"--this can turn some heads in public, let me tell you, LOL. oh well, she'll get it some day I hope.
I am tired. Layla just fell asleep again, I am gonna finish my 3rd drink of choice, then set up our room upstairs, then up we go to sleepies. Too bad I won't be able to fall asleep until after I hear from Aaron. shit. Well its a good thing its about 10pm, which means Seinfeld is going to be on for an hour, again...p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c. Maybe I should go back to work, when I worked, I had no time for tv, between babies, husband, and house, and working, only time to DVR my favorites, One Life to Live and General Hospital....idk...and OLTL ends next January, fuck. haha.
OK, I am going up. Hopefully the next time I write I will have happy things to say.
I also talked with the doc about birth control, because I was going to start the mini pill, but had second thoughts about it. I really feel like I don't want to have any more children, and while I will miss being pregnant, I will not miss the tears and meltdowns I have been having. So, I have tried to talk with Aaron about him getting a vasectomy, because even he admits that its much less invasive for him to do that, than for me to have a tubal. But he does not think that is necessary. However, I know I don't want to have to take a pill everyday or resort to using condoms, because lets face it, we have never used them before. SO, next Wednesday I am getting the Mirena. It lasts 5 years and by then perhaps Aaron will have the vasectomy or I will get another one. The Mirena only has progesterone in it, just like the minipill, but much less hormone that doesn't get systemic because its only released in the uterus. Hopefully this won't thwart my weight loss efforts, because that would be annoying if after I am done nursing I can't loose these last 5 pounds, but whatever, I really do not need to have another baby, so that's a sacrifice I will have to make.
So yeah, meltdowns. I had a major meltdown last night and the night before. Two nights ago it was bad though. Aaron just left on Monday, and since then I have been anxious beyond belief. I don't get it. I believe in myself and believe I am a strong person, but for some reason I get so ridiculous when he is away. Clearly I have invested way to much into one person, no? Because shouldn't I be able to cope without him? What the hell am I going to do when he is deployed for 6-10 months?!?!?! I've have a nervous breakdown! Right now I mean, I am at my mom's house, I have my mom here, one of my sisters, and 2 of my brothers, and I still have breakdowns? wtf. Sigh. So last night, Layla went to sleep, finally, then I went to bed, and then Kelly wakes up at 1:30AM and doesn't go back to sleep until nearly 5AM!!! Keeping me up with her! It was beyond awful. I was so frustrated with her after having cuddled with her for hours, I yelled at her and then eventually gave up and put her in the pack'n'play (she normally sleeps in a regular twin bed) and then fell asleep for a few more hours until finally getting up at 9AM. And of course Layla woke up every 2 1/2 to 3 hours too, but she ate then went right back to sleep. Sometimes I just want to run away and scream and never look back. Last night could have been a good night, but no, I can never have a good night.
I freaking hate this feeling.
Today is the day I met my husband, 5 years ago. What a love story we have. And tonight he is in Charlotte with his SINGLE friend Joe, at a BAR. :( I really hate when he goes to the bar with his friends. He didn't even tell me until I called him because I realized it was like 11pm his time and I hadn't heard from him for hours. Oh and they took a cab there, so you know they both will be drinking a bit. So he does this after getting pulled over while driving there yesterday for driving over 22 mph OVER the speed limit!? And he gets on my case for spending about $100 on cloth diapers? Give me a freaking break. And have I even had my eyebrows waxed in months or a pedicure? Of course not. Well, that's about to change. Now I am getting myself worked up, and I really shouldn't because I am in no state of mind to be able to filter what I say when I talk to him later. shit.
The things that frustrate me:
-Being away from Aaron
-Kelly's inability to communicate through speech...thank god speech therapy starts again on Wednesday
-my pubic bone pain, thank god I start physical therapy on Wednesday also
-the weekend
-fussy babies
-Kelly waking up during the night
-Me having my "mommy's time-out"
-retaining water
-weighing 123lbs
Maybe I am depressed? There are a few things that point in that direction. I watch so much damn TV, its pathetic. I am still working out though, so that's good. So far this week I have ran like 20 miles and lifted (squats, arms and abs) But then the drink or two I have at night kind of cancels that out too. ::sigh:: That's why I hate the weekend, because there is never anything to watch. I tune out. its how my mom deals with her anxiety and shite, and apparently I am realizing its how I do the same. shit. That's probably why my 2 year old doesn't talk, because I watch to much TV? is that possible? I used to be so good, playing with her allll the time, reading to her, all that stuff. But, she is not into it at all anymore?! I feel like I try with her, but she doesn't seem to have any interest in listening to me or repeating the words I say and the sounds. Its reallllly frustrating. She understands everything I say to her, but she doesn't always talk back. She says S-words, and SH-words really well, but cannot pronounce B-sounds. So, when she says "Bye" she ends up saying "Dye!"--this can turn some heads in public, let me tell you, LOL. oh well, she'll get it some day I hope.
I am tired. Layla just fell asleep again, I am gonna finish my 3rd drink of choice, then set up our room upstairs, then up we go to sleepies. Too bad I won't be able to fall asleep until after I hear from Aaron. shit. Well its a good thing its about 10pm, which means Seinfeld is going to be on for an hour, again...p-a-t-h-e-t-i-c. Maybe I should go back to work, when I worked, I had no time for tv, between babies, husband, and house, and working, only time to DVR my favorites, One Life to Live and General Hospital....idk...and OLTL ends next January, fuck. haha.
OK, I am going up. Hopefully the next time I write I will have happy things to say.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Wine Festival and Aaron Left :'(
We went to a wine festival this weekend. It was fun until it wasn't fun anymore. The wine tasting was fun, until I drank too much, didn't eat all day after running, didn't drink water, and then was on my feet in the sun as well. Luckily we had mucho pumped milk for baby Layla, but it was bad. I puked my guts out, then fell asleep for several hours when we got home. I feel like the worst mom in the world. My mom said not to worry about it and that Kelly and Layla were totally fine, and that she knows it will never happen again because I felt like a douche for doing that. I expected everyone to be mad at me, but nobody was in the end. The festival was cool, Layla was in the snuggli, and Kelly on Aaron's back. Then my brother Ryan also took Kelly to the playground right next to it to play, so she totally had fun. All the wine hit me at the end, because we met a lady from Fayetteville and she was a heavy pourer. Oh well. Oh yeah, and I met a lady Ericka and we discussed cloth diapering and our birth stories. I loved it! Her daughter Elise is turning 2 next week. Oh, and the best part, her husband's name is Erik!! We laughed a lot about how they were Erik and Ericka, and we are Aaron and Erin!! LOL
So that was this past Saturday. Then Sunday, Aaron and I went running together (my favorite), both felt like crap, but we did 5 miles in the high 80s and super sunny/hazzy. Then had cookout at his parent's crib. It was a lot of fun and really good food. Unfortunately it was our last day together as a family, at least for a few weeks. We came back to my moms and spent the night here, then he got up early, went running, and we said our goodbyes. Even though we go through this, like literally every few months, it never gets any easier. The distance does make the heart grow fonder though...I feel more in love with him everyday, especially while he or I am away.
In other news, the babes and I started going to the YMCA so mama could have undisturbed workout time. I ran 6 days last week, 25 miles total, and lifted a few days. So far its going great! I hope to be in all my pre-pregnancy clothes soon. I guess I already am, but they just don't seem to fit like they used too.
Other-other news. The night of the wine thing, the last feeding from me to Layla was at 1:30pm. I didn't empty my breasts again until after 10:30pm!! My left breast is all red and inflamed and definitely have some clogged milk ducts or something. Yesterday I could hardly even move my left arm. And its all my own fault! What an idiot!! I keep feeding Layla-bug and pumping a ton, but it still hurts...ugh, I do not want mastitis again!
Ok, that's it for now...real quick though, started cloth diapering, and I can't say I like it, at all! That's all I am going to say right now. Oh and Kelly doesn't like it either. At night, she is still wearing disposables because she ends up in my bed most nights from waking up, I don't want any accidents in the middle of the night! lol...ok, more on those struggles later.
So that was this past Saturday. Then Sunday, Aaron and I went running together (my favorite), both felt like crap, but we did 5 miles in the high 80s and super sunny/hazzy. Then had cookout at his parent's crib. It was a lot of fun and really good food. Unfortunately it was our last day together as a family, at least for a few weeks. We came back to my moms and spent the night here, then he got up early, went running, and we said our goodbyes. Even though we go through this, like literally every few months, it never gets any easier. The distance does make the heart grow fonder though...I feel more in love with him everyday, especially while he or I am away.
In other news, the babes and I started going to the YMCA so mama could have undisturbed workout time. I ran 6 days last week, 25 miles total, and lifted a few days. So far its going great! I hope to be in all my pre-pregnancy clothes soon. I guess I already am, but they just don't seem to fit like they used too.
Other-other news. The night of the wine thing, the last feeding from me to Layla was at 1:30pm. I didn't empty my breasts again until after 10:30pm!! My left breast is all red and inflamed and definitely have some clogged milk ducts or something. Yesterday I could hardly even move my left arm. And its all my own fault! What an idiot!! I keep feeding Layla-bug and pumping a ton, but it still hurts...ugh, I do not want mastitis again!
Ok, that's it for now...real quick though, started cloth diapering, and I can't say I like it, at all! That's all I am going to say right now. Oh and Kelly doesn't like it either. At night, she is still wearing disposables because she ends up in my bed most nights from waking up, I don't want any accidents in the middle of the night! lol...ok, more on those struggles later.
Territory Days and out with Friends
Over Memorial weekend we went to Territory Days in the Old Colorado City. It was a good time, very sunny, very windy, but still a good time. I really wanted to go for the tie-dye, not all the junk food or the beer garden. I took the girls down and met Aaron there who was with his roomate JJ. Colleen and her boyfriend also met us there. We basically went to the beer gardens, the guys all drank, I had 1 beer, and later most of a Mike's Hard lemonade. Then we went across to Thunder & buttons where my old friend Lindsey works. I hadn't seen her in like a year or longer, and we've been friends since we were both 15 (our birthdays are 2 days apart). So that was cool, seeing her.
JJ was being a major weird-o! He told Austin that he cuts himself and that he had a razor blade in his pocket, then all of a sudden his hand was bleeding. The guys ended up going to back east. For some reason I was beyond pissed off about this. I wanted JJ to go back to the hotel and Aaron to come over, but this didn't work out at all. I ended up going off on everyone, including my hubs. We ended up making up, unfortunately only over the phone, but thats alright. I had things I felt like I needed to say, he just listened and didn't say much back until we made up.
The next day, Memorial Day, Monday, we went to territory days again to meet our friends Brandon and Kendall. Brandon just got back from Iraq, and Kendall is pregnant, due July 10th. We've known them over a year now, met in Fayetteville, when Brandon graduated and got his green beret he got assigned to Fort Carson, and they moved here to Colorado Springs. We had a good time, Layla was in the snuggli, I left to fed her in the car, because there was NO where to sit down and it was extremely windy. Then we went over to the Andra's place to hang longer. It was a really good time.
The week before this, I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but we hung out with Josh and Sara R. Josh and Aaron also trained together, and when he got his green beret, he likewise got assigned to Fort Carson. Ya see, Aaron's training takes about 4 times as long because he is doing the 18delta program, which is the medical program...he graduates in August, almost a year after all of them! Anyway, he just got back from Iraq as well, and we went over to their new place here. It was interesting.
(Back story: When we were all in Fayetteville, we were all the best of friends. Josh and Aaron would work out all the time and Sara and I would hang out, and it was generally a good time. Well, then things got weird around Christmas time in 2009. Kelly and I went out to Colorado a week before Aaron. Then we went back to Fayetteville in Jan, a week after Aaron. When we got back Sara acted really weird towards me. Before we left for the month she bascially tried to start a fight between me and Aaron by trying to convince me that he didn't appreciate me. I said I didn't feel that way and that things between us were good. Then the minute I left she confronted him, behind my back and tried to act like I was the one that was saying I didn't feel appreciated it. It was weird! SO, we were back in Jan, then Kelly and I were leaving again in Feb on the 14th, to come to CO again to see my grandma and cousin and stay out here for 3 months while the guys were in SUT and SERE (out in the field). Well, it was 2 weeks early, because we wanted to see my grandma. Any way, during that time they apparently made friends with a new couple, Mike and Morgan and we became chop liver. The entire time we were gone, Sara acted weird. She wouldn't share information about when they might have possible weekends back in town, so we could fly out to see them, and she wasn't returning texts, or phone calls. Then I heard she was saying that I didn't support Aaron enough, because I was more worried about running than anything else! haha! We talked about everything, but things were never the same again. Basically its all I can do to just keep my mouth shut when we see them. If anything, all of Sara's drama only brought me and Aaron closer together. She is clearly jealous that we had babies already, my husband loves me and I have a successful career.).
So we saw them the other day. It was weird because they always acted like they wanted to have kids, but then Sara, who hasn't worked in like 2 years and already almost 30, was never ready to have kids. Then all of a sudden Josh calls me, not Aaron, from Iraq no less, to basically tell me Sarah is pregnant. Not only is she pregnant, but she is halfway through her pregnancy! Some might say, well what's so weird about her not telling you, you never see her or talk to her...but not so fast, I saw her in March and she didn't say anything, and then sent her a text to tell her Layla was born in April, and still nothing. When we went over there of course we talked like old friends, for the first bit, but then as usual, she got on the laptop and was glued to in the rest of the time we were there, skyping with someone. It was a bit weird! Aaron knows I don't care to hang out with them, yet he says I need to make more of an effort. But I just don't care too. And that should mean that I would get over it, so I guess I must still care somewhat, just not enough to keep putting myself out there. And they only live like 1 3/4 miles from here!! haha.. and she is having her baby literally up the street from my house, like <1/2 mile.
OK anyways...more to say but belongs in the next post.
JJ was being a major weird-o! He told Austin that he cuts himself and that he had a razor blade in his pocket, then all of a sudden his hand was bleeding. The guys ended up going to back east. For some reason I was beyond pissed off about this. I wanted JJ to go back to the hotel and Aaron to come over, but this didn't work out at all. I ended up going off on everyone, including my hubs. We ended up making up, unfortunately only over the phone, but thats alright. I had things I felt like I needed to say, he just listened and didn't say much back until we made up.
The next day, Memorial Day, Monday, we went to territory days again to meet our friends Brandon and Kendall. Brandon just got back from Iraq, and Kendall is pregnant, due July 10th. We've known them over a year now, met in Fayetteville, when Brandon graduated and got his green beret he got assigned to Fort Carson, and they moved here to Colorado Springs. We had a good time, Layla was in the snuggli, I left to fed her in the car, because there was NO where to sit down and it was extremely windy. Then we went over to the Andra's place to hang longer. It was a really good time.
The week before this, I can't remember if I mentioned it or not, but we hung out with Josh and Sara R. Josh and Aaron also trained together, and when he got his green beret, he likewise got assigned to Fort Carson. Ya see, Aaron's training takes about 4 times as long because he is doing the 18delta program, which is the medical program...he graduates in August, almost a year after all of them! Anyway, he just got back from Iraq as well, and we went over to their new place here. It was interesting.
(Back story: When we were all in Fayetteville, we were all the best of friends. Josh and Aaron would work out all the time and Sara and I would hang out, and it was generally a good time. Well, then things got weird around Christmas time in 2009. Kelly and I went out to Colorado a week before Aaron. Then we went back to Fayetteville in Jan, a week after Aaron. When we got back Sara acted really weird towards me. Before we left for the month she bascially tried to start a fight between me and Aaron by trying to convince me that he didn't appreciate me. I said I didn't feel that way and that things between us were good. Then the minute I left she confronted him, behind my back and tried to act like I was the one that was saying I didn't feel appreciated it. It was weird! SO, we were back in Jan, then Kelly and I were leaving again in Feb on the 14th, to come to CO again to see my grandma and cousin and stay out here for 3 months while the guys were in SUT and SERE (out in the field). Well, it was 2 weeks early, because we wanted to see my grandma. Any way, during that time they apparently made friends with a new couple, Mike and Morgan and we became chop liver. The entire time we were gone, Sara acted weird. She wouldn't share information about when they might have possible weekends back in town, so we could fly out to see them, and she wasn't returning texts, or phone calls. Then I heard she was saying that I didn't support Aaron enough, because I was more worried about running than anything else! haha! We talked about everything, but things were never the same again. Basically its all I can do to just keep my mouth shut when we see them. If anything, all of Sara's drama only brought me and Aaron closer together. She is clearly jealous that we had babies already, my husband loves me and I have a successful career.).
So we saw them the other day. It was weird because they always acted like they wanted to have kids, but then Sara, who hasn't worked in like 2 years and already almost 30, was never ready to have kids. Then all of a sudden Josh calls me, not Aaron, from Iraq no less, to basically tell me Sarah is pregnant. Not only is she pregnant, but she is halfway through her pregnancy! Some might say, well what's so weird about her not telling you, you never see her or talk to her...but not so fast, I saw her in March and she didn't say anything, and then sent her a text to tell her Layla was born in April, and still nothing. When we went over there of course we talked like old friends, for the first bit, but then as usual, she got on the laptop and was glued to in the rest of the time we were there, skyping with someone. It was a bit weird! Aaron knows I don't care to hang out with them, yet he says I need to make more of an effort. But I just don't care too. And that should mean that I would get over it, so I guess I must still care somewhat, just not enough to keep putting myself out there. And they only live like 1 3/4 miles from here!! haha.. and she is having her baby literally up the street from my house, like <1/2 mile.
OK anyways...more to say but belongs in the next post.
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