On the Upswing

Life is getting better. I am the happiest I have been since Mac deployed. I went on an awesome spouse's retreat last weekend up at the Keystone Lodge and Spa and had an amazing time! I met so many awesome, strong Special Forces wives that are all in the same  boat as me. Many of their husbands have deployed 4 or more times! Talking with them put a lot of my worries, concerns, and complaints into perspective. And the best part is, I made new Mommy friends that have babies around Kelly and Layla's age, and we are all planning a mani-pedi dinner date for March and I am so excited!

I have also been keeping us busy with fun things like, Kelly's soccer practice, her Build & Grow club at Lowe's, going running with my girlfriend Kendal and our babies, of course treating everyone to Zoo days, including with Kendall and Kennedy (7 months), and then this past weekend we went with my long time friend Margaret and her 2y 4m old son Broc and we all had such a good time. I try to do something fun with the girls basically everyday, which can be at times stressful, but if I am not working, we make it happen. yesterday I even got my mom to run with me, and we did at least 7 miles, with both girls in the phil&teds..took a few walking breaks, but for the most part is was straight up jogging! lol Today I am going with Kendall again.

Speaking about work. Its going fine. I am still working for Interim, staffing agency, but they have only been sending me to the actual hospital (as opposed to SNF), Penrose St. Francis Medical Center, so thats been good and incredibly busy. I have gone back and forth between Nights and Days, but told my boss last week I didn't want anymore nights, its realy not good for the family or my health for that matter. I can always make those sacrifices when I get my dream job.

I have also applied for about 30 more jobs in the past week. I figure if I can just get into the Hospital systems here, I could probably cross train and transfer to what I really want to do.

Layla has 4 teeth and just cut too more, not walking yet but cruises all over furniture. Kelly is a big girl, as sweet as pie, and is getting very adventurous (i.e. flips on monkey bars, climbs and jumps off of everything!). More about them soon!

OK my little lady is done with breakfast (as she throws in on the floor, lol!), more to write with pictures to come!

feeling semi-better

So I am doing a bit better. I discussed the situation with Mac and the way he explained it kinda makes sense, but it also still bothered me. However, I am done letting it determine how I feel.

Things have been busy, as always. I have been trying to get the girls signed up for CYS on post, and since we live so far north, its a drive and a huge pain. Kelly got her last vaccine today, so, hopefully they will finish registering her. Layla's is finished. The whole point is so that I can start using the free respite care, alone time to actually get stuff done, and get the girls into different activities and swim classes and what-not.

The other day I lost my iPod touch. It not the newest generation, and only an 8G, but it literally had 1900+ pictures of the girls and our family, including Kelly from 18 months and on, and while I was pregnant with Layla, her first moments and Mac's graduation, and hundreds of random memories. I am so very depressed about this. I keep re-tracing my steps, and going back to Lowes, Wells Fargo, and the Library, bc that is where I went that day, and no luck. I posted on Craigslist and am offer a $100 reward for its safe return. I don't care about the iPod, I can buy 100 iPods if I feel like it. I just want the pictures and videos! :(

This afternoon I am looking forward to running with my friend Kendall. She has a little 7 month old, and I will probably bring one or both girls with me, tho Kelly really needs her nap...We are going to run on the Sante Fe Trail, not sure how far...its not warm out, but its not totally freezing either.

I just want Mac to come home. Ugh.

More to say but 2 grumpy babies need me.

I'm a negative creep

Yes, I am still depressed. Yet somehow I am able to function through the day and continue to take Kelly and Layla to their activities and make friendly conversation with friends. However, I am still way depressed and get extremely irritable especially at night.

I have been hearing from Mac more through e-mail which is nice and he was even able to call me today, though seemed rather annoyed that I missed his first two calls. I couldn't help it. His e-mail said he'd talk to me in a week, so I thought, ok, cool, I can pull my phone from out of my ass and leave it upstairs for once. Wrong answer. Any ways, sounds like he is doing a lot better and having a better time.

I ended up going to Aa's mom this week about his brother drinking too much. Bottom line is, he'd call me all weekend and I was genuinely worried about him. I guessed they talked and had a good conversation. But now I don't hear from him, unless I text him first. Kinda bums me out, I did like having at least him to talk too.

OK, I have more to say but too busy right now. :'(